Monday.

Today is Monday. That was a three word sentence, yet it was loaded with meaning. I know you felt it. Monday is the beginning of the week. The beginning of a week filled with school/work/other unpleasant things. The low after a great weekend. The day you realize you didn't get any work done over the weekend and you have to get it all done today. Basically just a bad day. Every week.

Normally I just push through Mondays and ignore the various feelings and emotions going on, but today I've let Monday affect me, and I can't even blame what's going on on Monday. I had a fantastic weekend going on a road trip with friends and it was extremely hard to come off of that high into a low of schoolwork and jobs. While doing laundry the Lord put a thought in my mind that I have been slowly unraveling. I realized that I have let my joy in life be influenced/controlled by people/school/circumstances, when in reality I need to be finding joy in Christ or I am just not satisfied. If I don't find my joy in Him, I enter an emotional roller coaster controlled by who talks to me, how good I'm feeling, and how much homework I'm getting done. Reading my Bible in the morning and praying on the way to school won't cut it at this point. I have to constantly evaluate what is controlling my attitude; is it my grade in Organic Chemistry, the text that my friend didn't reply to or having to take care of chores? If it is not Christ, I  fin my identity in and and put my joy back in Christ which is much easier said than done.

I was listening to Trip Lee tonight and heard True Security by him and it brought tears to my eyes.

                                             Dag I'm praying for my sister

That she would cling to the God

That can save and deliver

I'm praying for my sister

That she would cling to the God

That can save and deliver

True security is found in Christ

He will never leave you

He's down and around for life

I'm praying for my sister

That she would cling to the God

That can save and deliver

True security is found in Christ

He will never leave you

He's down and around for life

This is so true, and was an amazing reminder that my identity and security isn't found in what is around me, be it family, friends, and other good things, but Christ, who will never waver, change His mind about me or forsake me. 

It may be easy while reading my blog to think that I have everything figured out, but in reality, writing this blog and exposing my heart is a challenge as I have to put my feelings into words and confront them. It is a way to keep myself accountable to what has affected me and not let it just roll off my back. Just know that and be encouraged :)

sidenote: {I just realized that I haven't written anything since the end of January. Wow. It definitely shows that my priority has been in school and not in exploring my thoughts, which is good, but only to a certain extent. I miss writing.}

--GeneticGinger